Saturday, April 19, 2008

What does Faith look like?

Wow. I just sat through a worship service alone. Not a single person around me. I sat with some of the worship team before the service, but then they moved up to the stage and left me alone.

I think it may have been ordained by God that Mike worked with the kids tonight, Jackson went silently into the nursery, and that not a SOUL sat behind me. At least, I don't THINK anyone slid in behind me. If they did, I didn't notice.

Tonight...it was me and God. I couldn't ask for a better worship time then to be able to tune OUT all of the distractions around me and to focus on HIM.

Want to know the theme for this series...Weathering the Storm...yup...

I've had a TERRIBLE stomach ache all day today and contemplated staying home tonight. I now fully believe that it was because SOMEONE didn't want me to hear the message tonight. SOMEONE doesn't want me to live by faith. SOMEONE likes this storm I'm in and doesn't want me to look to God for answers. I went. I cried. I bawled.

Sometimes faith is so preety. Nicely bound in a pretty bow. Easy to grasp. Easy to understand.

Then there's the flipside. More OFTEN faith is dirty and messy. It's through those times that if your KNEES aren't dirty than you're not truly living on faith. The storms we face can be just downright SCARY. I know the one we're facing is. But God is the author of this storm. He's stripping away the dirt and the grime and the filth that has accumulated on our souls and is cleaning us to a bright shiney new us.

When Jesus was in a boat with his disciples they feared for their lives one night during a terrible storm. They thought it was the end. They asked Jesus, "Teacher...aren't you going to SAVE US?" Jesus replied, "Why are you scared? Where is your faith?"

I often ask God...WHY???????????????????? Why am I going through this? Why does my husband have to feel like he's failing? Why do I have to go back to work? Why can't you give us a break?

His reply: Why are you scared? Where is your faith?

Sometimes faith looks like a lone girl on the front row with her hands held high and not a cent to her name.

4 comments:

Angela said...

thanks for sharing this - I'm so glad youi had that special time alone with Him. We don't get enough of that.

Pattie said...

Your last line made me cry.

I love you Steph!!!!!

UKZoe said...

One word.
WOH!

Cathy North said...

You made me cry too! I love you Steph!!